


Next time 'round

by Murder_Schmurder



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Discussion of feelings, M/M, Slight Panic Attack, Talking about your feelings, reference to mental illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murder_Schmurder/pseuds/Murder_Schmurder
Summary: Starting a relationship is hard.Starting a relationship with your nemesis is harder.Jackie has never been very good at talking, but for Anti? he'll try his best.
Relationships: Antisepticeye/JackieboyMan, Sean McLoughlin/Sean McLoughlin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 58





	Next time 'round

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Airspritegal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Airspritegal/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Entwined](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21728764) by [Airspritegal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Airspritegal/pseuds/Airspritegal). 



> Entirely inspired by/a continuation of Entwined by Airspritegal. You definitely need to read that one first to understand this one. It's absolutely one of my favorite stories for this ship, and I was rereading it for like the fifth time when the inspiration for this struck me. 
> 
> Thank you Airspritegal for letting me do fanwork of your stuff!! you're amazing!!

It had been a month since he last spoke to Anti.

Well, a month, eight days, and three hours, but who was counting, really?

Oh, he’d seen  _ The Glitch _ \- he’d seen the villain, the one terrifying people and cackling as he scooped up valuables from banks and dangled CEOs from rooftops until they gave him money. And they’d fought, as usual, tossing quips and punches as they moved across the city’s roofs. 

And sooner or later, Anti’s eyes would flash, and he would simply say two words: 

_ Convince me _ . 

And then they were fighting a very different kind of battle, spread out across a rooftop or pushed up against a wall in a dirty alley. These moments were heaven, to Jackie - to be close, to touch, to kiss and mark up his… nemesis? soulmate? 

It never lasted long, however. A noise, a start, a stray bird, and Anti would get that wild look in his eyes and glitch away. And so they’d start the same song and dance again. 

It was grinding on him, he wasn’t going to lie. After they’d talked, and kissed, and - done things, he couldn’t help but dream. He’d hoped, deep down in his heart where the roughness of the world couldn’t get to him. He’d hoped they could… he didn’t know. 

Anti was a villain. He was as unlikely to give up on it as Jackie was to give up being a hero. This was what he did. It was what he was born to do. As much as he - cared for Anti, the feeling of joy when he saved someone, the bone-deep knowledge that he was improving the world day by day - nothing could change that. He wouldn’t give it up for the world.

But still. No matter how incompatible he knew they were in his head.. his heart and soul cried out for its companion. It wasn’t always so persistant - but mornings like this, watching the sun rise over the city from the roof of the their house? 

Mornings like this, he ached.

“How ya doin, Jackie?” 

The voice behind him was soft enough that Jackie didn’t startle. He just sighed, looking up to welcome Chase to take a seat beside him. Chase did, feet dangling over the edge of the roof. Jackie kept half an eye on him - he’d already saved one person from falling off a building tonight. Didn’t want to do that with his brother, as well.

“What’s botherin’ you, Jackie? I can hear you think from all the way down there.” 

Damn, was he that obvious? Jackie dredged up a smile, almost as shining as the real one.

“Me? bothered? never.”

“Is so.”

“Nope.”

“Yeah you are!”

“Nu-uh.”

“Jackie, you absolute horseshit, I know about the scar. And it doesn’t take a fucking genius to figure out that our resident glitch bitch has the second one. And you two are CLEARLY not making gooey eyes at each other in some Carribean paradise. Give me the deets.” 

Jackie sputtered and fell silent, knowing argument would have no effect. Chase was always the most emotionally intelligent of them - and he wouldn’t rest until his brothers had talked about their issues. 

And Jackie… as much as he did his best to be strong and resilient and capable… even he had his limits.

“He knows,” Jackie blurted out, unable to hold his thoughts inside any longer. “He knows, we - he was upset, didn’t believe me at first. And. I uh. Convinced him?” Jackie hoped to god he didn’t have to explain further, but his squirming seemed to be clue enough for Chase who made an unfortunate noise and gestured for him to continue. 

“Uh, and I was… convincing him, and then Schneeps knocked, and Anti glitched away, and now we meet up but he still… he still wants to be convinced, and I don’t know what to do!” 

It was more words than Jackie had ever uttered on the subject, and it felt somewhat… relieving. At least it was out. 

He dared a glance over at Chase. Chase was staring out into the city, obviously thinking. 

Jackie fidgeted. His usual calm up here was shattered, and now all he could think about was Anti. His fingers skittered over the gnarled scar on his neck. It looked gory, but under his fingers there was barely any difference between the skin and scar tissue. 

“Jackie… There’s no real, uh, delicate way of putting this. Is Anti still… I don’t know, afraid of you?” 

The question hit Jackie out of nowhere, tearing up anger in his heart as he turned to Chase. 

“No! Of course not! He knows I’d never hurt him!”

Chase raised his hands in defence.

“Of course, of course. I think the whole damn city knows you couldn’t truly hurt anyone you thought was at least at a chance of redemption. I’m sorry, I didn’t put it in a good way.” Jackie nodded, slightly pacified, and Chase paused for a moment. “I was thinking more like… you mentioned he didn’t believe you. And asked you to… convince him. And you… did.” Chase cleared his throat and pushed on. “But uh. Since he’s still asking you to convince him… Maybe he’s still unsure?”

Jackie was about to retort, but Chase’s last words hit him like a brick. 

_ Still unsure? _

Jackie had only gotten a glimpse of Anti’s fraught inner life, that night in his room. He seemed to doubt himself deeply, but at the same time Jackie knew he was confident, knew he was able to express his opinions. But…

Jackie remembered the dazed way Anti had reacted to his first soft, careful kiss. He’d cleared his head quickly, of course, and set about more passionate methods of showing his interest, but. There was something there, definitely.

“You,” he started, wetting his lips as he thought about his next words. “You think he might not… realize? that I’m serious?” 

“Are you?” 

“Of course I am!” 

“Not gonna lie, dude, secret makeouts in the alleyways are not a great look.”

“It’s what he wants!” 

“Does he know he has other options?” 

The question, once again, left Jackie stunned, but Chase didn’t leave him to his thoughts this time. Jackie had seen Chase truly angry, and it was quite a terrifying sight. This wasn’t that, not at all, but the frustration in his voice was clear.

“Are you sure you’re not just hiding, Jackie? You knew about the scar for months, but you never made a move. Even now, when both of you know, when you’re both CLEARLY into it, you play the safe game. What are you trying to protect, Jackie? your pride? your attempt at a better life? your honor? your image? What is it, that is so much more important than this chance at happiness for both of you? I just…”

Chase buried his head in his hands for a second before dragging them roughly down, standing up in a swift motion.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t take this out on you. That was unfair of me. I’m upset now, so I’m going to go inside and cool down. I’m sorry. Bye.”

With that he turned and left through the roof entrance, and through the shock Jackie had the vague thought that Chase’s therapy sessions had to be going well. 

He sat and pondered Chase’s words as the sun slowly rose, painting the world in red and gold as it greeted a new day.

As the city woke, Jackie knew what he had to do.

  
  
  
  


“Please, please god, anything, I’ll do anything!” 

“Yah, you can whine all ya want, it’s not gonna help until that sweet cash has been transferred.”

Jackie really shouldn’t be excited to hear Anti’s voice in this context, but the heart would not be contained by things like “morals” and “work mode”. He pushed it down, took a breath, and climbed over the roof wall, striking a pose.

“Glitch, time’s up. Put that man back on the roof.”

  
Anti rolled his eyes but obligingly dumped the CEO of… something or other onto the roof tiles, ignoring his frantic scrabble for safety as he focused in on Jackie entirely.

“Oh, you’ve finally showed. I was beginning to think you’d be late.” He cracked his neck to the side, glitches gathering as he prepared for battle. 

Jackie raised his fists.

“I’m never late, Glitch. And you know you’re never gonna get away.” 

  
Instead of answering, Anti jumped him, and they tumbled over the rooftop together.

In the second their freefall lasted, Jackie allowed himself a broad grin. He was looking forward to this. Then they impacted with the next rooftop over, and the fight truly began.

Fighting with Anti, after all this time, had become almost like a dance. Jackie knew his style almost as well as he knew his own. While he himself stayed planted firmly in one place, defending and striking out, immovable as a brick wall, Anti darted around, always just out of reach, fast and agile and forcing Jackie into movement, just as he forced Anti to guard himself. 

In his more poetic moments, he found it almost beautiful. Mostly, he found it annoying that Anti kept slipping out of his grasp. 

They moved across the city roofs, trading blows and barbs. A kick answered by a glitched dodge, a punch blocked by a sturdy arm, as well choreographed as any Hollywood movie. Their words were more playful than anything, even as Jackie slowly gained the upper hand. 

Anti hadn’t glitched away yet, and Jackie could recognise that glint in his eyes. He knew how this would end. A moment’s opening - he took it, tackling Anti around the waist and forcing his hands down onto the rough tarmac of the rooftop. 

“Why don’t you just give up? You know you’ll never win!” He couldn’t keep from smiling, now.

Anti smirked, stretching like a cat underneath him.

“Oh yeah?  _ Convince me _ .”

And this was the moment. Part of him wanted to simply lean down, meld their lips together, continue this heart-rending, beautiful, but ultimately empty game they were playing. 

Instead Jackie did the hardest thing he’d ever done, and pulled away. 

“Okay.” He stumbled to his feet and held out a hand for Anti, still stunned. 

“...what?” Anti said. Jackie squirmed a little. He hadn’t… thought this part through.

“I want to convince you. Not just… like that. I was thinking maybe we could catch a movie? or if you don’t want to be around people, i don’t know how good you are at disguises, I know this really nice park, it’s pretty secluded, we could have a picnic? Or we could just go to my place. Play some videogames?” 

Okay, that was a lie. He’d thought through way too many options, but he couldn’t nail one down. He’d been horrified to realize he didn’t even know Anti’s favorite movie. Or where he lived. Or if he liked tuna sandwiches better than peanut butter sandwiches.

Hopefully, he’d be able to fix all of these things. But only if Anti agreed. He still hadn’t said anything and well, Jackie was a nervous talker.

“Or… just hang out. Whatever, really. I just… I want to make this work, you know? Not just. Not just making out. Although that’s nice as well!” he hurried to reassure. That seemed to be what finally snapped Anti out of his reverie, even if it was to look at Jackie with even more confusion, quickly turning into desperation as he spoke.

“I - more? I don’t - this is fine, Jackie. I’m happy, you don’t - I don’t need all this extra stuff, I promise. You don’t - have to convince me, okay? I admit it.” Something in his voice broke, right there, and the smile on Jackie’s face faltered and he dropped to his knees, bringing him to eyelevel with the now sitting Anti. Not that it helped - Anti was determinedly looking at his own knees, unwilling to meet Jackie’s eyes.

“That’s - that’s not what this is about,” Jackie said, trying to find the right words. Stars, kissing had been so much easier. Words were fraught, they could hurt as well as heal. 

Jackie liked to heal with his actions. His words… he didn’t know how to wield those.

Anti's eyes had gone glazed over again, and he kept talking as if he hadn't heard a word Jackie had said. His arms were wrapped around his knees, pulling himself into a tight ball. 

"Please, I'm not some needy child, I'm satisfied, please don't go, please don't - " his words grew quieter as he spoke and Jackie felt a sharp pang of fear and sadness for his soulmate. He hesitated for a second before putting his hands on Anti's shoulders. He glitched once under Jackie's hands before settling down, and Jackie squeezed his shoulders, just slightly. 

"That's not it, Anti, I promise. We're good. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never checked. I'm gonna hug you now, okay?"

Silence met him, but some life had returned to Antis eyes, some awareness, and Jackie hoped that meant this was helping. Slowly, slowly, he pulled Anti closer, until his face rested in the crook of Jackie's neck. He pushed a kiss into Antis wild hair, rubbing his back with slow, even strokes.

"I'm sorry. You deserve so much better than what I've been giving you, Anti, you really do. I fucked up bad. Please come back, so I can at least try and fix it. So I can explain."

He was speaking without thought, trying to push as much sincerity into his words as possible. Slowly, one inch at the time, Anti unfroze under him, arms hesitantly crawling up Jackie's back until they were embracing on the cold rooftop, quiet except for the cooing of pigeons. 

"I'm sorry," Jackie said, finally, pulling back just enough that he could see Antis face. He kept his arms around his back, though, and after a moment's hesitation, Anti did the same.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask earlier," Jackie continued, trying to keep his voice steady. "I should have… known. I should have been clearer. Anti, I want to try this for real. Not just making out in back alleys. But most importantly…" He took a deep breath before barreling on, knowing it had to be said, hating that it had come to this. "Anti, most of all, I want to know what you want. Not what's fine, what you want. What you need. Whatever it is - space, or quiet, or to punch me in the face, I'll do it."

He bit his lip, forcing a stop to his words. He had so much he wanted to say, but this… Anti had to know this, truly. He had to make the choice himself.

Anti sat quiet for a second, staring off into the middle distance before focusing back in on Jackie. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out.

Jackie breathed out slowly and leaned in, resting his forehead against Anti’s.

“Please. I want to get to know you, Anti.” 

Something in Anti broke, then. No, not broke - untensed, like a bowstring held too taut, as Anti let out a harsh breath and closed his eyes.

“Always with the sappy fucking words, hero,” He said, but there was a softness to the edge that had Jackie chuckling, just slightly, chest bubbling with cautious joy.

“That’s me. But for real, Anti. What would you like to do?”

Another moment of quiet followed.

“Can we just… stay here? I like it. The sunset against the highrises is… really nice.” The last part was muttered almost shyly, and Jackie couldn’t have helped the big, goofy grin that spread across his face if he had tried.

“Of course. Anything.”

And so they leaned against an airvent and watched the world around them slowly change and settle into evening. At first it was quiet, almost stiff, but as the silence grew comfortable, words started being exchanged. They made up lives for each and every pedestrian passing under them. They discussed whether they would be able to get food delivered up here. 

Jackie told Anti about his family. About JJ, lost out of time but the scrappiest and proudest man he’d ever met: Chase, so charismatic but so very unlucky in love. Schneeps and his temper they were both familiar with and apparently Marvin had worked together with Anti once or twice before with some questionably legal magic shenanigans. Jackie sighed but smiled and gently, oh so gently, prodded Anti about his own life.

It turned out delivery did extend to rooftops, and so over bits of lo mein and fumbled chopsticks, Jackie learned about Anti. He learned that Anti didn’t watch many movies, but he had seen the Sixth Sense once and loved it. He learned that Anti didn’t quite live anywhere, able to teleport wherever he liked when he needed rest, but he did keep his stuff in an abandoned apartment not too far from where Jackie lived. He learned that Anti liked neither tuna nor PB&J, but he did like to dip his bread in ketchup like some heathen.

They talked, and they laughed, and Jackie didn’t let go of Anti’s hand for the entire evening.

The world would be fine without them for a bit. 


End file.
